I said, when writing about my old journals, that I find myself envying my former propensity for magical thinking. It sounds, I know, silly. How could I envy something that is so easy to attain? Well, luckily, I’ve changed since I was a teenager. I was definitely more anxious, more uncertain, less sure of myself . . . all the typical ways a 17 year old’s life differs from someone twice her age. And isn’t Magical Thinking the recourse of the sad and disenfranchised? I’ve heard that it's at its height in times of depression, war and hardship. It’s the times when one feels the least amount of control in one’s life that deals are made with God and beasts sacrificed.
So sweet as my symbolism-centered teenaged life may seem now, the spurs behind it were unhappiness and lack of control. I was in a difficult circumstance as a 17-18 year old, living with a very drunken grandmother and her dying husband, still recovering from the death of my father some six years before. I clung to any meaning I could find or invent. Is Magical Thinking wrong, a crutch, a weakness? I don’t know. Millions (billions?) of people have religion, is it wrong if I do?
Wowsah. Much to ponder with this post.
ReplyDeleteIF I'm interpreting this correctly, then NO. Magical Thinking isn't wrong for you. You are still rational and logical - not lost in the ether. However, I haven't read a specific example of what this Magical Thinking of yours entails. (Or I've missed it somehow while reading your blog). Can you give me a concrete example of WHAT you are thinking? I feel like you're skirting around the concept a bit. From what I've read, the core reason behind Magical Thinking can be interpreted many different ways. So it's the 'how' and the 'why' that matters.
You hit on another great point in your post. I believe that the current fad for "urban/contemporary fantasy" is flourishing due to the state of confusion and economic uncertainty we live in. To me, that seems to stem from that same yearning for Magical Thinking.
Once again, I may have misinterpreted all of this entirely. Feel free to correct my faulty thinking!
Yes, I'll try to define MT more/better; it is definitely a catchall term. Thanks for your prompting. Also your photo is great!
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