I’ve learned this lesson, hopefully once and for all: when I’m in social situations where there’s noise, I should just keep my thoughts to myself and not even try to listen. Attempting to hear and especially attempting to be heard just leave me in a bad mood.
I was at a party last night, a nice dinner party, the lovely restaurant rented out for one lucky girl’s 30th birthday party. It sounds divine and the food was good but it was so very loud. It’s an inevitability: take a certain number of people, add alcohol, and the volume rises alongside the drinks consumed. And this sounds fun and delightful and I don’t mean to be a judgmental prude. It simply doesn’t work for me.
I am incapable of making my voice heard over any background noise. I don’t know if it’s a quiet voice, but it’s like it doesn’t carry. I’ve heard that one can train their voice, and I suppose that’s my problem: I’ve never projected and I don’t know how. I’m an only child, and I think this might relate: growing up I never had to compete to be heard, never had to yell over other yellers. Also I don’t drink. I don’t not drink: I occasionally have one beer, but I’m not usually interested. So you take a social situation where I have a hard time being heard to begin with, give everyone except me liberal doses of a social lubricant, and it’s a matter of minutes before I’m edged out of the conversation. Oh, I try. Me shut up and not have a point to make? Not likely. But then I find myself becoming strident and impatient, and then I feel like a bitch compared to the loosey goosey lubricated set, and I get annoyed by their drunkenness. It’s just not good for anyone. This is why I declare, next time I’m in a noisy social situation, to just shut up.
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